Riffing On Perspectives and Family

When I wrote about our train trip to Santa Barbara, I left out as much as I included.  That's the nature of story telling.  We all view life from our unique perspectives and interpret it for ourselves.

Should someone else chronicle our trip, perhaps they would talk about how they thought I must have been wound up in the morning and wouldn't shut up, which is pretty unusual for me.

I also could have gone in an entirely different direction, writing about topics I read over morning coffee in the Santa Barbara Independent, which Pacifica Suites furnished free to its guests.  One article went into the unexpected consequences of legalizing marijuana, namely the cultivation of skunk weed interfering with the livelihood and lifestyles of neighbors including Santa Ynez Valley wineries.  It's not the alternative-consciousness competition that bothers them, but the odor itself.  Consider that wine growers sometimes plant roses at the ends of vine rows to add fragrant floral nuances to the grapes when pressed into wine.  Now think about the worst skunk weed your neighbor Charlie has ever been toking on his balcony.  How would you like to have that growing in the lot next to your vineyard?  And how about wine tastings?  Swirling and sniffing could become gagging and hurling if the skunk smell overpowered the nose in your snifter.

Yes, when Randy and Karen arrived at the breakfast table, they had to hear me rant about that or some other topic when I wasn't improvising jokes.

Normally in the morning, I'm quietly typing away at my keyboard or listening through headphones to some youtube video that caught my attention, whether a discussion with someone like Jordan Peterson or perhaps music I miss or otherwise missed almost entirely.  Lately, for example, I've been a bit obsessed with the songs by Peter Gabriel, which before recently barely entered my conscious thoughts.  I happened to be ready to hear what Gabriel's songs had to say to me.



If you want to know what's going on in my thoughts at any given time, you can usually read my blog, because even when I'm apparently writing about something else, I'm always writing about my unique perspective on whatever the universe has put into my awareness at that time.  This is in lieu of the conversation I would be having with you if you were with me in the moment.

You probably have also noticed that I throw in references to cruising, since the question of how whatever this is relates to cruising always seems to be rolling around in my brain.

That should not be interpreted as me telling anyone that they must take a cruise or packaged tour to enjoy life, although I think most people find it much easier to appreciate their vacations and lives when they have the structure of an itinerary and occasional guides to riff off, just as my favorite jazz starts with the foundation of a great melody.

Anyway, because I wasn't typing or listening to headphones, it turns out I was talking.  It must be noted that means I am very comfortable with Randy and Karen, as I'm frequently unsure how much to open up to people.  I remember another era when I wasn't shy, and that was around my kids when they were small.  Those were times when I would let loose of every silly pun or joke that occurred to me.  What fun we've always had together!

Yesterday on Father's Day, Julie and her sister Jacque both posted family photos on Facebook that brought back lots of warm memories for me.  First Julie posted one of our three kids with me in Big Sky, Montana, in summer a little over twenty years ago.

It's a good reminder that the first trick to enjoying vacation fun is to take time away from everything and put yourself in a vacation frame of mind.  You don't have to cruise around the world to see something interesting.  You just need to make the decision to go and then do your best to fully appreciate it once you're there.

According to Travel+Leisure, more than half of Americans haven't taken a vacation in the past year, including many who have earned paid vacation days.  That's free time your employer gives you because they know you will be a better worker if you take time off to put your life into perspective.

Often, the best way to see things more clearly is to get away from them.

Anyway, we've been going to Big Sky as a family for many years.  We used to have a somewhat captive audience.  Now, all the kids have discovered the world has unlimited possibilities, and it is much harder to pin them down, even as Julie and I obviously have much more free time to roam with the bison.  I still cherish every time we all get together with family, but it is also fun just remembering one of those early trips.

The other photo was one posted by Julie's sister Jacque.  When our kids were small, Jacque would bring her daughters, Kendra and Kelsey, to meet our family at my mother-in-law Edna's house.

The picture of me in the pool with all of the kids brought to mind all those happy days where the formula for happiness was always simple.  We'd play in the pool with traditional games like Marco Polo or silly things we made up like Fly to Me My Chickadee or Rocket Ship.

There would be swimming for sure, but not any kind of rote lap swimming to improve technique.  It was mostly splashing around and having fun.  The kids took up the game that Julie and her siblings played in their pool in Anaheim just as Darlene and I played it at Mark and Jamie Abel's pool in Westminster.  We would do a famous TV commercial, a dance or a sports move as we walked to the end of the diving board and then jump in.

Sure, Jay and my nephew Jered did karate kicks like Bruce Lee, who hadn't started the whole martial arts movie sensation when I was a kid, but the concept was the same.

The kids would play other games, including Ninja House, where the boys were ninjas while the girls were mothers or babies, so everybody got to be whoever they wanted to be. while the adults talked about whatever adults talk about.

Then we all would join in on some family games.  We might break out a board game like Sweet Valley High or Go to the Head of the Class.  Often, it would be a game of cards like Tripoly or Spit.  Sometimes it would be Charades or some kind of drawing game.

Whatever we did, I remember lots of  noisy, laughter-rich voices.  Grandma Edde was always happiest during those days, sharing her home with her family.  Sometimes, Edna would have prepared a delicious beef stew in the Crock-Pot that was simmering all day, but most often our trip had been more spontaneous, and we would dash down to the nearby Little Caesar's Pizza to pick up some square, thick-crust pizzas that were absurdly cheap (was it $5 each or two for $5?).

While we didn't always stick around that late, sometimes we would watch Disneyland fireworks over the rooftops from Edna's front yard.

Those were fun, fun times!

But remember, at whatever point in the life cycle you happen to be, these are the good old days you will look back on later.

Make the most of them.

"To everything, there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven."