Cruising From L.A. Like a Monkey's Uncle

We breezed past security like greased pigs through a car wash, and then filled giant oval plates with assorted buffet delights like hungry Texans at a Hari Krishna feast set in a Brazilian churrascaria.

Like Annette Funicello and Frankie Avalon in a "Beach Blanket Bingo" sequel set on a cruise ship, we stretched out on padded lounge chairs as soft as a Saudi sultan's sofa and luxuriated in the Southern California sun as perfect as a Lido Deck version of Disney's California Adventure's Soarin' Over California virtual simulation of a perfect sunny Southern California Day.

Julie and I felt as giddy as Ferris Buehler and Cyndi Lauper at a Beatles reunion concert in 1984 at Bill Murray's house after learning John Lennon's death had just been a terrible hoax and that George Orwell had completely misjudged the future.

In short, it was a boffo day for a bad metaphor until the life boat drill bell rang with the inevitability of a Hemingway novel.

In a non-green flash, we were off to our muster station with the abandon of Boy George and Hillary Clinton on their way to a pant suit convention in Hollywood, where we learned how to attach the velcro on a life jacket for the 35th time.

Before long, we were back in the glorious sunshine, and the punch of a punk-packed power chord kicked off the Sail Away Party.

Nothing could possibly kill the buzz, except possibly announcing winners of the scavenger hunt, which had kept passengers busy scurrying around inside the ship rather than enjoying the gorgeous California afternoon on the Lido Deck. 

When the announcements stretched from two minutes to ten, at which point the clock dial stopped moving altogether for another hour and a half, Julie and I decided to head to our private balcony to cruise out of Los Angeles.

We popped the cork --- or actually twisted off the top --- on a bottle of Sutter Home Sweet Red Wine (Princess allows each adult to bring a bottle of wine to enjoy in your room without corkage fees), and toasted our departure, acknowledging the many shipping crates that had piled up to see us off, only a bit disappointed they weren't spewing pastel-colored streamers into the air for the occasion.

Actually, it's quite pleasant sailing out of the harbor past Palos Verdes Peninsula and toward Catalina, watching seagulls swoop by and passengers in smaller vessels waving. 

Yes, we missed most of the Bon Voyage Party on the Lido Deck, and we weren't the first ones in queue for dinner, but we were somewhat compensated when the beauty and serenity of sunset on the open sea was punctuated by a truly magnificent bright green flash on the horizon.

Surprisingly, Michaelangelo Dining Room hadn't run out of food before we arrived, and our meals were delicious.

The best tip I can give you for a great vacation and life is to appreciate each moment for what it is rather than barreling through the present in anticipation of something that might happen next. 

Be a seagull, not a vulture.