Hippie Wedding in Washington

What better way to kick off summer than with a flashback to the Summer of Love for a Hippie Wedding in Washington?

My old friend Pete had asked me about a year ago to be his Best Man for the second time --- the first time having been almost 50 years ago --- I proudly accepted.

The tie-dye was cast.

Pete has always marched to the beat of a different drum, so I wasn't shocked when he said the hippie wedding party would wear blue jeans and yellow shirts.  He said he would lend me one of his Jerry Garcia ties.

The event turned out to be quite a bash, with a backyard wedding under the pergola he had constructed a couple of years back.  Somehow, they seemed to have exactly the right amount of chairs and space for the number of people who showed up, despite the fact that Pete said they'd invited everyone from their church, assorted art galleries, their favorite pot shop and an "adult" store.

Mostly, it turned out to be family and a few close friends at the ceremony.

A considerably larger, more diverse crowd awaited at the reception, held at the art gallery where some of Pete's avant-garde photos are displayed  Among the guests was Hawk, a white-bearded guy who later dressed as Gandalf, whom he portrays at Medieval Fairs around the Pacific Northwest.  That came as something of a shock, considering I made reference to the Lord of the Rings in my Best Man Toast written weeks earlier.  Note that Pete and I have rarely if ever talked about LOR, but then again, I know he is very well read.

I was particularly happy to talk with some of Pete's siblings who I haven't seen in years.

The reception featured an open bar, but no one seemed to indulge in excess, probably because many attendees were either well into retirement years or church-goers.  The catered food was tasty, and everyone seemed to get their fill.  

Walking around the gallery, we were impressed by the wide array of art styles and happy to see that Pete's work stood out as some of the best.

In his younger days, Pete was always quite the dancer at parties, but this was more of sit down or stand in one place to a mix and mingle crowd.  

The night before the wedding, Pete's younger brother Tony and his wife Judy provided a feast of grilled burgers and hot dogs plus side dishes in Pete's backyard.  That wedding day's eve, of course, is when younger men might be bar-hopping trying to get the groom wasted.

In keeping with the hippie theme, I brought my guitar to play a song or two.

After a rough start with a guitar that had gotten way out of tune with the elevation changes, I ended up playing a half dozen songs mostly correctly.

I get nervous playing in front of any size crowd these days, with my mind drifting away from the lyrics and chord sequences I know by heart.

Getting back to the important subject, Pete's bride Shari turned out to be as sweet and happy as she always seems over the phone.  It is not hard to understand why Pete resigned his confirmed bachelor status.

We hit it off well, I thought.  Shari asked me to stand in for her father --- who had passed away after Pete asked for her hand in marriage but before the wedding --- to give her away.  Combined with my Best Man duties, being Surrogate Father of the Bride stretched my wedding capabilities a bit too far without rehearsal.  We had trouble finding a rhythm going down the aisle.  Then, I wasn't sure of my appropriate place to stand upon arrival under the pergola, where I thought the minister would ask who gives Shari away so I could deliver my appointed line.

In any case, Shari and Pete managed to get the tale of her father calling Pete a traditionalist into their vows, so all was well, and the ceremony was very touching and simultaneously joyful.

For what it is worth, here is a copy of my Best Man's Toast, which gives some background on our friendship.

To be perfectly candid, if you had told me five years ago I would be going to Spokane to attend a ceremony for Pete, I would have guessed it would be a funeral, not a wedding.

Yet, we are gathered here together on this day to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony.

Whoops, wrong script --- or should I say? --- someone else’s line.

I think it is testament to the heeling power of love and the hope that comes with visualizing a brighter future.

That’s not to say that before Shari that Pete didn’t already have a lot to live for.

He certainly loves his children and the families they’ve built, and he even loves his ex-wife, in a different way than when they said “I do’s,” one that allows her to give her blessing to this union.  He has lots of friends, and in retirement he is living the artistic life he always dreamed of having during his government office days.  He is part of a thriving arts community of free souls, which suits Pete well.

However, he told me five years ago that he realized he didn’t have much longer to go.

Wrong again, Pete!

No, Pete was never a great forecaster of the future.  He has always been one to live in the present moment.

When we were teens, Pete would pop through my door like Gandalf from Lord of the Rings, seeing if I wanted to go for an adventure.  As to where he had been during the days when I hadn’t seen him, he would fill me in with stories of reading poetry in the girl’s bathroom with a current infatuation or some vague outline of something that could be interpreted in many ways.  Pushing for details would only make it less interesting, so off we’d go, Pete the talkative one, and me the quiet one, usually looking to somehow meet girls.

Sometimes for a few weeks in the summer, we would hang out together almost daily, riding in with my dad to Naples Bay on his way to work so we could enjoy beach fun and flirt with girls, then in the afternoon play a very bad version of Scarborough Fair sitting on the brick planter fence in his front yard, and finally playing penny-ante poker late into the night.

There are plenty of adventures to unfold right there, but suffice it to say we had a lot of fun.

When he came home on leave after joining the Army, we would play poker, and perhaps smoke something that used to be illegal while listening to great rock music of the era.

When he said he was getting married the first time, I have to say it was kind of a shock that he would be settling down so young…not to mention that any woman would have him!

But Phyllis and Pete enjoyed a long, happy marriage that produced great kids, and if they had lifespans of people a hundred years ago, that might have ended with happily ever after.

Despite smoking too many cigarettes from a time he was too young to smoke, Pete has somehow outlived that age when perhaps his great-great grandfather would have been long before pushing up daisies, and so as I said, we are gathered here today for his marriage to Shari.

I would say Shari has literally been a life saver, helping him recover from health problems and more importantly making him excited to share new adventures with her.  Perhaps those adventures are going to church on Sunday morning or to an art exhibit opening rather than a quest to recover some Ring of Power in a distant land, but I’m not sure it is ever much more than that for most of us.  And it can be a great life with the right companion to share the adventures.

In any case, he has found a new ring, a wedding ring, and we hope it is a ring of happiness and love, which is better than raw power.