Should Surnames Be Sir Names?

In Game of Thrones, it's easy to keep track of the families.  They not only repeat their last names regularly, they have family slogans ("Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken." "Winter is coming."  "A Lannister always pays his debts."), which they repeat regularly in the show.

They also have sigils (essentially logos) emblazoned in their family colors on banners they proudly drape in their castles and flags they carry into battle.

While Queen Cersie seems to adopt the family slogan of her husband, King Robert Baratheon--- "Ours is the Fury" --- she also leaves no doubt with the viewer that her greatest loyalty is to her Lannister family.  She goes to great lengths to preserve the family's genetic line, but the children nonetheless took on the last name of her husband.

So it is in real life --- sans the whole incest thing, hopefully.  Our paternalistic society dictates that women generally take the last names of their husbands and give that to their children.

As generations proceed, however, we who are not in a King's line will find it difficult to keep track of the mother's side of the family after two or three generations.

A maternal surname might easily vanish on a particular branch of a family tree rather quickly, as it may soon for my mother's paternal family name.

Some women, however, use hyphens to preserve their maiden names.  That is quite common in the Spanish culture, with the father's last name followed by a hyphen and then the mother's last name.  It makes sense for Spain to have recognized the importance of the woman's maiden name, because their  Queen Isabella became perhaps the most influential ruler in human history when she decided to finance the voyages of Christopher Columbus which brought Western Civilization to America and beyond.  Before that, Isabella completed the Reconquista, uniting Spain while driving the Muslim Moors out of Iberia.

By the 1970's, Women's Liberation emboldened more women to do something similar, often hyphenating with their maiden name first.  That simple solution creates inevitable problems down the road, as discussed in the interesting New York Times opinion piece linked here. 

Obviously, it could bring about very convoluted last names if perpetuated --- Jones-Rodriguez marries Chu-Patel, so their child's last name becomes Jones-Rodriguez-Chu-Patel? --- even if neither last name is particularly long to begin with.

My last name happens to be a mouthful without any hyphenation, so Julie, who had established her career with her maiden name, simply held onto that for her business life.

My sister Darlene didn't seem to mind ditching our family name for her husband's, so my nephew Brooks doesn't need extra space on forms when he writes his last name.

Some women, like Hillary Rodham Clinton, have taken the approach of keeping their maiden names as middle names.  Our oldest daughter Gina, who had published several public health papers before she married Laszlo, has taken this approach for her professional life, I'm proud to say.

As of late, that seems to have been shortened to using just the initial S.  As I said, my surname is quite cumbersome.  Our granddaughter Emma, of course, only uses her father's surname, with Strickland already separated by three generations.

Wives simply taking on the surnames of their husbands might make it easier for their children, but there can be complications with that, too, primarily because not all first marriages last. 

A woman might take on the last name of a guy who isn't a keeper. Upon divorcing, she might hold onto that new name, especially if her driver's license and passports have that name, or go back to her maiden name only to take on a third last name if she re-marries.  She might have children with both husbands, just to keep it interesting.

Someone I know was adopted by her mother's second (or maybe third) husband and given his last name.  Her mother divorced her adoptive father and married a different man, so she nonetheless lived for years with a surname other than the new one her mother had taken from her new step-father.

Upon being married and divorced twice herself, taking her husband's surname both times, the daughter decided to take on the name of her actual blood-father (whom she never actually knew) rather than the name she used throughout her childhood or her mother's subsequent married name or any of her other marriage names.  Confused?

It occurred to me on our visit to see our relatives in Alabama that while Mom's maiden name was well-known to me, it could soon be forgotten within our branch of the family tree, which is sad because it is a rather prominent family in history.

I was happy that our daughter Gina and her husband brought our granddaughter Emma to make a connection.  With limited time, their primary focus was my Aunt Ann, who has a striking resemblance to Mom, and her daughter Angie, with whom she's lived while recovering from an illness that put her in the hospital.

Mom had two sisters and one brother, and the same nuclear family structure of three girls and one boy was true for Granddaddy's father.  So, only my Uncle Edwin carried the family name forward.  He had two sons, who were the Stricklands in our family tree for my generation.  Donald had two children, a daughter and son, while his brother Ronnie had two daughters and a son.  We saw Donald's son Michael while we were there.

Unfortunately on our trip to Alabama, Darlene and Brooks were there only for Friday night and Saturday through lunch, while Gina's family didn't arrive until late Friday night and then flew back on Monday morning.  Because more relatives actually know Darlene, the big dinner was planned for her night there, and while Michael attended the dinner at Catfish House with his two daughters (I'm embarrassed to admit I took no photos and they have no social media photos), Gina didn't get to meet him, despite going to his father Donald's store a half hour before Michael needed to leave for a medical appointment.  Emma did get the opportunity to get to spend some time with Donald's granddaughter Natalie, who is about the same age.

Of course, my grandfather's branch are not the only remaining Stricklands.

In England, there is a Strickland family home, Sizergh Castle, which passed to the eldest son for many generations after Matthew Strickland immigrated to Virginia.

In a reversal of the father's surname passing forward, the name Strickland actually comes from a part of northern England called Stercaland in old English.  With no male heirs, Stercaland (Strikeland) was inherited by a woman, Elizabeth Deincourt.  In 1239, she transferred it through marriage to Sir William De Castlecarrock --- women couldn't own real property on their own at that time --- who became the first to use the earliest version of the name Strickland.

According to the genealogy site Geni (https://www.geni.com/people/Adam-of-Castle-Carrock/6000000006402099367):

"Sizergh was granted by Henry II about 1170-80 to Gervase d'Eyncourt (Deincourt), a cadet of the great baronial family of that name settled at Blankney in Lincolnshire. It is situated within the parish of Helsington, but as a separate independent manor. These possessions continued in the Deincourt family for several generations until Elizabeth, great granddaughter of Gervase, became on the death of her brother the sole heiress, and conveyed them all in marriage to her husband, Sir William Strickland in 1239. From that time, this has been the residence of the Strickland family. In earlier times, the family was known as 'De Castlecarrock', and they were descended from the Norman family of Vaux (or De Vallibus), and therefore allied to the family of Gilles, son of Bueth, the original native chieftain holder of Gilsland, near Carlisle. In 1179, Walter De Castlecarrock married, moved to the manor of Great Strickland in north Westmoreland acquired through his wife, and assumed the name 'De Strikeland'. The name meant 'the pastureland of young cattle'. This Walter was later knighted and was the great-grandfather of the Sir William mentioned above. Family members have been found in Parliament in almost every generation until the end of the 17th Century. They have also been involved in other parts of Government, including the military, up to the present time."

Ancestors of those first Stricklands still occupy part of Sizergh Castle, but the estate was actually donated to the British National Trust in 1950 by Baron Gerald Strickland.  Gerald held other titles in other countries, including Malta where he was born and died, and both Tazmania and Western Australia, where he was Governor at different times.  Gerald was a member of my great-grandfather Reverend James H.T. Strickland's generation.

Gerald had six children, including two sons who died young.  Their oldest daughter, Mary Christina Strickland (1896-1970), inherited the estate.  When she married, she took the Spanish approach, hyphenating her last name, despite the fact that her husband had what is a rather unfortunate name.

Their ancestors now carry the last name Hornyold-Strickland.