Goodbye Wayne Dyer

I found Wayne Dyer's second book, The Sky's the Limit, in the bargain books section of Waldenbooks at the Westminster Mall.

At the time, I was struggling emotionally with a painful divorce and striving to get ahead in a corporate job. 

I found something inspiring in the pages I read while standing in the busy mall.

Had it cost another dollar, I probably wouldn't have sprung for it, and even the modest price I paid stretched my budget.  I can't say why I picked it up, other than the fact my childhood friend, Pat Welch, had at some point told me he found Dyer's first book, "Your Erroneous Zones," very helpful.

Before reading the book, I had felt trapped, walled off from the life I wanted.  Especially painful was being restricted to only see my cute toddler daughter Gina twice a week rather than playing with her every evening in our apartment pool, which like a daily baptism brought me alive again, but I also lost contact with my "couples friends" Frank and Maryanne Slanes, whom we met at Gina's swimming class in which their daughter was enrolled, and Bill and Beatrice, who lived in our apartment complex.  Instead, I was living in a different world at my mom's house in Westminster, making the long commute to Fullerton along the congested 22 and 57 freeways.

As the old adage goes, when the student is ready, the master will appear.  Wayne Dyer spoke directly to me through the pages of his book.  He told me to appreciate all that I have rather than focusing on what I lack, and encouraged me to realize that the only limit on how I live are my limiting thoughts.



Reading the book, I realized I was not alone and hopeless.  I still had my baby girl, just not as often as I wanted, which incentivized me to make the most of each moment.  I realized further that I was surrounded by unconditional love.  My mother had welcomed me back into her home, feeding and sheltering me so that I could get back on my feet.  My dad, whose personal guru had been Earl Nightingale, encouraged me with his brand of positive thinking, even bringing up the idea of helping him expand a side business to a second location during my free evenings.  My sister Darlene and her husband Brooks, whose son Brooks is only 3 weeks older than Gina, encouraged me to come to their home regularly and also treated me to skiing at Mount Baldy, where the entire message of "The Sky's the Limit" seemed to fully gel for me. 

My Reimagined Life (photo with Julie and Gina, circa 1985)

When I went back to work the next day, I was a different person.  I had been born again, and I would do my best to enjoy every moment for its potential, no longer focused on what others might do that could limit me.  I control my thoughts, which determine how I feel.

I followed Dr. Dyer's career from that moment on, and once a few years ago I even heard him speak live at my church.  He was always inspiring, and it's sad to realize he won't be writing any new books, recording audio programs or showing up on PBS to solicit donations by freely presenting his seminars on TV.

Just as my parents stay with me, and their unconditional love and wisdom still comfort me, I know I'll always carry Wayne Dyer with me.

Goodbye, old friend.