Au Revoir, Edna

Because this is a travel blog, I frequently ignore many personal experiences and thoughts unrelated to exploring the world, whether near or far away, and even then I mostly write about the happiest moments. As the Bible says in Ecclesiastes 3, however, "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die."

Edna Mittman

Monday morning, we were awakened by a call from Julie's sister saying their mother, Edna Mittman, had passed away. It was not a surprise. My mother-in-law seemed to give up on life as 2011 arrived, rapidly wasting away from the wheelchair-bound woman in assisted living who was already a pale shadow of the strong, vibrant woman she had been just five years earlier and throughout most of her life.

By the time I met Edna, her children were grown, and from what I could tell, she had done a wonderful job raising them, as they all turned out to be friendly, competent adults, living and enjoying their own distinctly individual journeys. With four children clammoring for attention and requiring transportation and support for their assorted activities, plus her own obligations of her Shriner organizations, she must have been constantly engaged. It should give perspective to those of us with less than four children who claim to be busy. Edna didn't have the modern conveniences we take for granted that came to be after her child rearing days, including telephone answer machines, microwave ovens, cell phones, video devices, computers, call forwarding and texting, but she managed to keep everything pretty much on schedule.

Kendra, Edna, Amy, Kelsey, Jay and baby Brett

My memories of Edna begin when she was about my current age, and she had the same zest for life that I feel right now, which is to say the zest of a child happy to welcome each new day. For the first few years, I rarely saw her. She and her husband Al allowed us to live without interference as they enjoyed the social aspects and fundraising for their assorted Masonic organizations. Only after Al passed away did I really become acquainted with the old gal.

Brad, Bree, Brett, Amy, Jered, Jay and Wes

She was a funny woman who always loved me, as I loved her. She and my mother were always happy to join in card games with the grandkids and me, and we enjoyed many afternoons laughing around someone's kitchen table. Our family would also spend time with the cousins in Edna's Anaheim pool, and while she never went in to my memory, Edna always enjoyed watching the frolicks.

Mary, Amy, Bree and Edna

I think of her at her grandmotherly peak one afternoon in Escondido, when we went to Sizzler before Amy's ballet show at the beautiful performing arts center. Amy must have been about seven, so I would guess it was around 1998, which was one of my favorite years (then again, isn't that what I say about every year?). Edna picked up the tab for dinner, as she always tried to do for her family, although we would successfully fight her for the bill frequently because, after all, we were just paying for our family and her, while she was paying for everyone else. She was, in short, a very generous woman, and a woman who lived with an attitude of abundance, at least during the times I knew her. Of course, when any of her grandkids or children did anything well, she glowed with pride and praised their performance, often exaggerating the event a bit more with each re-telling.

Edna and Jay

As I said, 1998 was one of my favorite years, a year when Jay became a big San Diego Padres fan and our family rooted for them all the way through their World Series loss to the Yankees. In later years, when Edna became a resident of a nursing home, watching Padres games became one of her favorite distractions, along with watching Jeopardy. She'd also play poker in a weekly game. When she stopped caring about participating in those activities, we knew the end must be near.
When she refused to accept our offers to arrange for a special taxi to take her to her granddaughter Kelsey's wedding in August, it was obvious she had given up on life.

Gina, Mary and Edna

Fortunately, we had the opportunity to stop into Edna's room when the kids came into town for their cousin's wedding. Jay, Amy, Julie and I stopped in for a visit before the wedding, and we were all saddened by her frail, wan condition, but at least Edna got to meet baby Emma from New York City when Gina and Laszlo brought her by to visit Edna the morning after the wedding.

Last weekend, Jay joined Julie and me when we visited one last time, knowing we were probably saying farewell.

Edna's 80th Birthday Party

At the risk of sounding crazy, in the morning just before Jacque phoned, I had a vivid dream of my smiling Uncle Edwin, always one of my favorite people, a good man quick with a joke or a friendly word. I can't think of a better emissary to welcome Edna into heaven, where I imagine her laughing and dancing, happy to have use of her legs again and finally out of pain. May God bless and keep her. We will miss her.